Lying & Punishment

Tonight I came home from work to find out my daughter had lied to my husband. Now, don't get me wrong, she is no angel and she has her faults, but lying is not usually one of them. She tends to feel really guilty and gives herself away pretty easily at even the smallest white lies.

Today, part of her schoolwork was to do her Typing Tutor. When my hubby got out of the shower she told him that she had done it while he was in there. He believed her but said he was going to look and see how well she had done. Apparently she did not realize we could check on her in this way and asked if he could really see that and he said yes. Even after that though she sat down right next to him and did not say a word as he checked the program and found out that she had not been on it at all!

When I came home tonight I was upset that she had lied, but even more upset that she had done so when it is so out of character for her. I asked my hubby if he had decided on a punishment yet and he said no. I think he was even more upset than me.

One thing I often worry about is how well I'm raising my kids. I want to keep certain things from them and avoid exposure to certain things. But at the same time I want them to not be so sheltered that it is a culture shock when they see what the "real" world is like. So while I do try to keep my kids from certain things I also try to explain to them why I want them to avoid those things that may be considered "okay" to the rest of the world. Now I was worried about some of the influences on my daughter since it seems she had flipped so fast.

I thought about it awhile and decided on a punishment for her. I sat down to speak with her about it. She admitted that she had lied and did seem really upset about it and sorry. She apologized to her dad. When I said something about punishments though, she looked at me and said, "I've already grounded myself Mom."

That stopped me short. So I asked her what the punishment was, thinking it was probably something like "no dessert tonight" or something else that was not very severe. But her answer surprised me. Her punishment was even harsher (but not too harsh) than what I had in mind. So I decided to let her punishment stand.

So while I am a bit dismayed and concerned at the ease of her lying today which is so out of character for her - I'm happy that she realized the seriousness of her actions and decided to handle things on her own. The rest of the evening was quite pleasant after that exchange and we actually got through quite a bit of her history and reading and we both had an enjoyable time!